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The Brooding Surgeon's Baby Bombshell
Susan Carlisle
One night, unexpected consequences…But can they be a family?When sparks fly with Dr Gabriel Marks at a conference, Nurse Zoe Avery’s left with a permanent reminder of their night together. Knowing Gabe doesn’t want kids, she decides she’ll have the baby alone. Then Gabe moves to the same city, just as pregnant Zoe needs a temporary home… Gabe comes to her rescue, but can they overcome their hurdles and become a family?
One night, unexpected consequences...!
But can they be a family?
After sparks fly with Dr. Gabriel Marks at a conference, nurse Zoe Avery’s left with a permanent reminder of their night together. Knowing Gabe doesn’t want kids, Zoe decides she’ll have the baby alone. Then Gabe moves to the same city just as pregnant Zoe needs a temporary home. Gabe comes to her rescue, but can they overcome their hurdles and become a family?
SUSAN CARLISLE’s love affair with books began in the sixth grade, when she made a bad grade in mathematics. Not allowed to watch TV until she’d brought the grade up, Susan filled her time with books. She turned her love of reading into a passion for writing, and now has over ten Medical Romances published through Mills & Boon. She writes about hot, sexy docs and the strong women who captivate them. Visit SusanCarlisle.com (http://www.SusanCarlisle.com).
Also by Susan Carlisle (#ulink_dff1f194-a375-5f1b-a86f-6444112010bc)
The Doctor’s Redemption
His Best Friend’s Baby
One Night Before Christmas
Married for the Boss’s Baby
White Wedding for a Southern Belle
The Doctor’s Sleigh Bell Proposal
The Surgeon’s Cinderella
Stolen Kisses with Her Boss
Christmas with the Best Man
Redeeming the Rebel Doc
Discover more at millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk).
The Brooding Surgeon’s Baby Bombshell
Susan Carlisle
www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
ISBN: 978-1-474-07518-3
THE BROODING SURGEON’S BABY BOMBSHELL
В© 2018 Susan Carlisle
Published in Great Britain 2018
by Mills & Boon, an imprint of HarperCollinsPublishers 1 London Bridge Street, London, SE1 9GF
All rights reserved including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form. This edition is published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, locations and incidents are purely fictional and bear no relationship to any real life individuals, living or dead, or to any actual places, business establishments, locations, events or incidents. Any resemblance is entirely coincidental.
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www.millsandboon.co.uk (http://www.millsandboon.co.uk)
To Jeanie.
The best sister-in-law I could have ever wished for.
Contents
Cover (#ub2ca6d09-1089-5507-932d-1ade41ddc75c)
Back Cover Text (#u23ce2b39-856c-52e7-bab8-0861669ba76d)
About the Author (#ud42cb3dd-cff8-56fa-9a47-4851930201d8)
Booklist (#ulink_2c4c3f15-e202-53dc-8be7-a7eeeb0ead1c)
Title Page (#u14f1aef3-c13b-54a5-9dfa-7f0ee4490a0d)
Copyright (#u5f929dd2-774c-56a8-8876-e4634060e7a7)
Dedication (#u73d4ef13-6757-5b66-aba0-d73c5b00c9c6)
PROLOGUE (#u4d649680-6aef-565d-a75d-a1a223746906)
CHAPTER ONE (#uf51ef4bd-09ca-54ea-a16f-bf471f1141b4)
CHAPTER TWO (#uac8ab9e8-b4df-5ecd-91ed-4ffdb1e36688)
CHAPTER THREE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FOUR (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER FIVE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SIX (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER SEVEN (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER EIGHT (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER NINE (#litres_trial_promo)
CHAPTER TEN (#litres_trial_promo)
EPILOGUE (#litres_trial_promo)
Extract (#litres_trial_promo)
About the Publisher (#litres_trial_promo)
PROLOGUE (#ulink_5e3fccc2-54a2-5d36-877e-68295e73b0e2)
THEIR NIGHT OF passion had started so innocently.
Dr. Gabriel Marks had taken the only open seat at the dining table. The petite young woman with the light brown hair and quick wit he remembered from the committee meeting six months earlier sat to one side of him. She smiled and said hello, as did the rest of the committee members.
Their chairperson had organized the dinner for those members flying in that evening. The next day they would all be attending the meeting at the High Hotel at Chicago’s O’Hare Airport.
As a transplant surgeon, Gabe was honored to serve on the liver committee of the National Organ Allocation Network. The group met twice yearly to discuss issues involving liver donation and policy. The professionals who made up the committee, as well as family members of patients, came from all over the country and represented different areas of liver transplantation. What they did was important and saved lives.
If he remembered correctly, the woman dining beside him was Zoe somebody, a former registered nurse who now worked for the Liver Alliance, a group that educated people with liver disease and assisted patients needing a liver transplant. The Liver Alliance did good work. He’d had some dealings with the group in the past regarding patients with special considerations, but he’d never met Zoe before joining the committee.
The discussion around the table was lively during their meal and he appreciated Zoe’s quick wit and infectious laugh.
The next morning, they had acknowledged each with a warm hello but had sat on opposite sides of the table during the six-hour meeting. When Zoe had spoken up, her remarks had been intelligent, enlightened and spot-on. He’d been impressed.
After the meeting had adjourned he’d headed to the airport to catch his plane home. But his quick check of the flight board revealed his plane had been grounded because of thunderstorms. Gabe was watching the word Canceled cascade down the panel when a groan of dismay had him turning around. It was Zoe.
She looked at him, her face screwed up. “Sorry. I hadn’t meant to be so loud. This wasn’t in my plans.”
“It never is,” Gabe responded.
“You’re right about that.” She looked up and down the concourse. “I guess I’m going to spend the night in the airport.”
“I bet if we hurry we can get a room in the hotel before everyone figures out what’s going on.” Gabe turned back the way they had come.
“A room?” Her voice squeaked.
He gave her a pointed look. “I meant a room apiece. Are you always so literal?”
She grinned, walking past him at a fast clip. “I knew what you meant. I just wanted a head start if there was only one left.”
He chuckled and hurried to catch up with her. A short time later they had rooms for the night. As they walked toward the elevator Gabe said, “I’m sorry, but I’ve racked my brain and still can’t come up with your last name.”
“Avery. Zoe Avery.” She chuckled. “That came out sounding a little James Bondish, didn’t it?”
He laughed. “Maybe a little bit. Would you like to meet for supper? Unless you have other plans.” He rarely had a night free of paperwork and he wasn’t going to spend this one by himself. Not when he liked this woman and was fairly confident she’d accept his invitation.
They entered the elevator. “What other plans would I have but to channel surf?” she answered with a grin.
Her mischievous talk appealed to him. As a transplant surgeon at a San Francisco hospital, he didn’t have many people in his life who dared to speak to him so freely. He found it refreshing.
The elevator doors opened. As she prepared to exit, he held the doors open. “Meet you at seven in the hotel restaurant?”
“There’s not a wife who’s going to be mad at me, is there?” Her playful grin belied the serious concern in her eyes. Had a date ever lied to her about being married?
“No wife. How about your husband?”
“No. Not one of those either.” There was a sad note in her reply, yet she cheerfully confirmed, “See you at seven, then.” She waved as he stepped out.
Gabe took a moment to appreciate the gentle feminine sway of her hips, anticipating the evening to come.
* * *
He was waiting at the restaurant entrance when Zoe strolled up. There was a bright smile on her face. “Sorry, I didn’t have anything else to wear.” She brushed a hand across the front of the simple navy dress she’d been wearing earlier in the day.
“You look great to me.” And she did. Something about her pulled at him. He wanted to know her better.
She grinned. “Thanks. You know the right thing to say to a stranded woman.”
He chuckled. “If we have to be stuck somewhere, I’m glad it’s a place with hot running water.”
“I’m surprised you didn’t say food.”
“Now that you mention it, that’s important too. Our table won’t be ready for a few minutes. Would you like to wait in the bar?”
“Sure.” Zoe walked ahead of him. She was a tiny thing with a powerful personality.
He ordered their drinks and carried them to a small table. They sat and talked about that day’s meeting until the waiter came to get them.
Zoe stood, brushing against him as she moved to avoid someone sitting next to them. Gabe’s blood heated. He had no doubt her movements had been unintentional, but his body reacted just the same. It had been some time since a woman had gotten to him on so many levels so quickly.
The waiter showed them to a corner table and handed them menus. They discussed what they would order and were ready when the waiter returned.
After he’d left Gabe remarked, “If I remember correctly, you’re a patient advocate with the Liver Alliance and live in the Washington, DC, area.”
“That’s a good memory. I’m impressed. You were paying attention.”
Feeling ashamed, he said, “Apparently not when you said your name.”
“It’s okay. It happens.”
“So have you always been with the Liver Alliance?”
“I went to work in an ICU when I was fresh out of school. I worked a lot with liver patients and really liked it. I decided to go back to school and become a liver transplant coordinator. About a year ago I needed something with regular hours. The Education Chair position came open and it was a perfect fit. Good, stable hours, a tiny office, and I’m still working with the people I love.”
Gabe nodded. “And you like living in DC?” He didn’t normally quiz his dinner dates, but his curiosity about Zoe was uncharacteristically strong.
“I do. There’s always plenty to do. Museums to visit, music festivals and just the excitement of being in the center of our government.”
Her enthusiasm for the area was contagious.
She leaned back and looked at him. “And you’re from San Francisco. Pretty city.”
Obviously, she’d been paying more attention than he had during introductions. “Yep.”
“That’s a pretty tough commute for these meetings.” She ran her finger down the side of her water glass, leaving a trail of condensation.
What would it feel like to have her do that over his chest? He shifted in his chair. They were having dinner. That was all. They didn’t really know each other. “I try not to schedule surgery for the day I get back. It makes it easier to deal with the time change.” Gabe took a sip of his drink then said, “You seemed pretty upset about not flying out tonight.”
“Yeah. My mother has the beginnings of Alzheimer’s and I don’t like to leave her alone overnight. I’m worried she might not handle being by herself.”
“You worked it out?”
“I did. I got a friend to go over and stay with her.” Worry flickered in her eyes as she glanced away.
“She’s why you needed the job with regular hours. I understand caring for someone with your mother’s illness can be difficult.” He was an only child whose mother turned to him often for help and emotional support, but she still possessed her mental faculties. If she didn’t and he had to provide her with constant care even while he traveled...?
Zoe looked at him again, brow furrowed. “It is. I hate watching her wasting away. And good care is costly.”
“My mother is all I’ve got. My father died before I was born. I can only imagine how I would feel if she got sick.”
Her eyes took on a dark look before she said, “Growing up without a father can be tough. Do you have a stepfather?” Zoe seemed to have changed the subject on purpose.
“Nope. Mom never remarried.” He’d often wondered why. She’d always said it was because his father had been the love of her life, but he’d thought there might be more to it. As a kid, he had overheard her tell a friend she felt like she might be doing Gabe a disservice by not marrying. That she worried her decision not to do so had left Gabe with no male role model or father figure.
“She must be a great mom,” Zoe commented, bringing him back to the present. “You seemed to have turned out all right.”
His mother had been and still was a good mother, but truth be known, his grandmother had been the primary adult during his formative years. His mother had worked full-time to provide for him. “Thanks for saying so. But lately she’s been applying pressure to become a grandmother. It gets old.”
Zoe’s head turned to the side, her look quizzical. “You have no interest in making her one?”
“No. I’m not good family material. My job, my career, doesn’t leave me any room for a family. I’m far too busy. More than one girlfriend has accused me of being a workaholic. A wife and children deserve a full-time husband and father. I decided long ago that that drama wasn’t for me.”
A peculiar expression came over her face, but before he could ask what was wrong, the waiter brought their meals. Zoe started talking about places she had visited and would like to go to and he dismissed her unexplainable expression in favor of her entertaining conversation. When they were done with their meal, Gabe said, “It’s still early. Would you like to go to the jazz bar downstairs?”
She hesitated a moment. It really mattered to Gabe that she said yes. She finally quipped, “Why not? It sounds like fun.”
Relief washed over him and he smiled. Why was it so important that she go? He placed his hand at her back and guided her out of the restaurant toward the circular stairs. His hand fit perfectly in the hollow of her back. At the club, he asked for a table close to the band.
They had been there a few minutes when Zoe touched his arm. She leaned in close and said into his ear, “I needed this. Thanks for asking me.”
He smiled, glad she was having a good time. His body tightened with awareness. It was overreacting, big-time. Or was he overly conscious of his body’s natural response to an attractive woman he genuinely liked? They were both single and old enough to know their own minds, so why shouldn’t they enjoy each other’s attention?
Several couples moved to the open area of the floor. On impulse Gabe asked, “Would you like to dance?”
“I’m not very good.” She sounded more disappointed than rejecting.
He stood and offered his hand. “You don’t have to be. Just follow my lead.”
Zoe smiled. One he would remember. “Hey, I can do that.”
Gabe held her hand as they stepped out onto the floor. Pulling her into his arms, his hand went to her waist. It was so small his arm almost wrapped all the way around her. The top of her head came to just below his chin. The sweet scent of her filled his head and his body stirred. He resisted the strong urge to pull her tight, but firmly squelched the idea. His arousal would be evident. This was the nicest evening he’d had in a long time and he had no intention of ruining it by scaring her off.
The sultry sound of the saxophone swirled around them.
She looked up, commanding his attention. “I’m impressed. You’ve a surgeon’s touch even on the dance floor, gentle and skilled.”
“Thank you, ma’am.” He brought her a little closer in spite of his resolve. There were other things he was good at he’d like to show her. He needed to squelch those types of thoughts too. Gabe missed a step.
Her hand squeezed his shoulder when she stumbled.
He looked at her, mumbling, “Sorry.”
“I’m sure it’s your partner,” she said.
Searching the depths of her eyes, he muttered, “I assure you it isn’t.”
“I’ve not had much opportunity to dance since my prom, years ago.”
Her eyes were so green. “You’re doing great.”
She stared back. They continued to move slowly around the space. It wasn’t until there was a mumble going around the room that he forced his attention away from her seductive gaze. The music had stopped. They were the only ones still on the dance floor.
Zoe looked around. Her cheeks were spots of red. “Oops. I guess we got carried away.” She focused on him. “It’s been a long day and time I head upstairs. It’s later in my time zone than it is in yours.”
“Okay.” Gabe hated to let her go. He held her hand as they returned to the table. She picked up her bag and he left a few bills on the table for their drinks. “I’ll see you to your room.”
Zoe grasped her bag with both hands. He would have liked to have one of them in his. Somehow it seemed to belong there. What would she do if he kissed her? Would she push him away? Did he dare take a chance? He’d regret it if he didn’t.
They entered the elevator and rode up to her floor without a word. The need to touch her, hold her gnawed at him. Tension, thick as a wool blanket in the winter, lay between them. She glanced at him once, her soft, questioning eyes uncertain. He was painfully aware of what he wanted but did she feel the same? The decision must be hers.
At her door, she pulled her keycard from her purse and turned to face him. “Thank you. I really enjoyed this evening. Especially the dancing.”
Was she flirting with him? Testing the water?
She gave him a long look as if reaching a decision. With a blink, her hands came to rest on his shoulders as she stood on her toes and kissed him.
That was all the encouragement Gabe needed. He reached out, pulling her against him, his mouth crushing hers, his tongue finding a warm welcome. Her arms wrapped his neck and she hung on during the most passionate kiss he’d ever received. He wanted her. Right now. Based on her actions, she wouldn’t deny him.
He steadied her on her feet and growled, “Key.”
Zoe put it in his hand, her lips finding his again. He had no problem with that. Backing her against the door and with a minimum amount of fumbling, he managed to get the door opened and them inside.
It closed with a click behind them. Zoe’s legs wrapped around his waist. His hands cupped her butt as he stumbled toward the bed, his blood boiling and his body alive with desire for her.
He eased her down onto the mattress, moving over her. Had he ever been this hot for a woman? Supporting himself on his hands, he searched her face. She stared back. He saw the second doubt creep in. Gabe gently kissed her. “I want you. Badly.”
Silent for a moment, she whispered, “Make me feel good tonight, Gabe. Forget everything.”
“I can do that.” His mouth took hers while his hands worked to remove her clothes.
She followed suit with equal frenzy. Her moans of desire combined with the kneading of her fingers on his bare back made him more aroused than he’d ever believed possible. Their mating was blistering, fast and very, very satisfying.
* * *
Hours later Gabe rolled over. His hand brushed warm, soft skin. Zoe. His body stirred once more. He wanted her again.
“Mmm...” she murmured before her kisses teased his chest.
His hand skimmed the rise of her hip. “Damn, I don’t have another condom.”
Her hand brushed his length as she murmured, “I’m on the pill.”
Unable to go without her any longer, he saw to her pleasure then found his. Having no barrier between them felt so right.
When he woke again, Zoe was dressed and stuffing her belongings into her luggage. “Where’re you going?”
“I have to catch my plane.” Her back remained to him.
“You’ve already rescheduled?” He was still in a haze.
“They texted me.” She did glance at him then. “I have to go. I need to get home to Mom.”
Gabe could see the glass wall rising between them. Unbreakable. All the warmth they had shared last night was now frigid air. Zoe was embarrassed by her behavior. It shouldn’t bother him. He wasn’t looking for forever, but he didn’t like the idea of being something she regretted.
“Zoe—”
“I have to go.” She was out the door before he could untangle the sheets from his body.
CHAPTER ONE (#ulink_d4c89b21-95ee-5f06-b103-779e108e5ced)
ZOE CLUTCHED THE restroom door handle in the conference area of the High Hotel. It had been almost six months since she’d seen Gabe and she was hiding from him. She suspected he was impatiently waiting for her in the hall. Not facing him wasn’t a choice she had. Her entire world had changed in that amount of time. Her mother was worse. And Zoe was pregnant.
Guilt hung on her like a heavy necklace of stones she wore all the time. She should have told Gabe. It wouldn’t have been that hard to contact him. She’d used him to escape her life for a night and now there was a baby to consider. He’d deserved better on a number of levels. When she’d kissed him at her hotel-room door she hadn’t planned on becoming the “drama” he had been adamant about not having in his life.
He knew now. He’d seen her protruding belly when she’d stood. She’d heard his gasp from halfway across the meeting room. There had been no mistaking his shocked expression when she’d glanced back. Would he care if it was his? Did he want to know? Regardless, he deserved to be told he was going to be a father. Even though he’d stated a family wasn’t for him.
She paused before pulling the door open. Hopefully Gabe had already returned to the committee room. At first she had thought the stomach rolling had been a virus. After a few weeks she’d had to admit it might be something else. But couldn’t believe it. She’d been taking the pill. She’d dragged her feet about buying a pregnancy test because she’d just been unable to wrap her mind around the idea she might be expecting. She’d thought of contacting Gabe the moment she’d seen the test was positive, but had immediately found an excuse not to. Each time she’d convinced herself she had to tell him, she’d come up with a reason not to call him. Too tired, working too late, her mother needed her right that minute, and the list went on. The truth was Gabe had said he wasn’t interested in being a father and she felt guilty for her part in involving him.
How would he react when he found out? She’d vowed after each of their committee’s monthly conference calls to call and tell him. As time had gone by, she’d decided he deserved to hear the news face-to-face. Their semiannual in-person meeting was soon and she’d planned to tell him then. What she hadn’t counted on was not seeing him the night before. She’d fully expected to have a chance to tell him in private before their committee meeting. Sadly that hadn’t happened.
Her fingers flexed on the handle. What if Gabe had found someone special since they had been together? The idea disturbed her more than it should have. Any relationship he might have could be hurt when the woman learned of the baby. Just another reason Zoe shouldn’t have put off telling him. She hadn’t intended to hurt him. Ever.
Was he mad? Glad? Would he believe it was his? She’d been such a coward.
Her body had hummed with tension all morning as she’d anticipated telling Gabe. More than once she’d had to remind herself to breathe. Had even had to force herself to eat a bite or two of the croissant she’d gotten off the breakfast buffet. Despite being five months along, morning food still didn’t always agree with her. Her temperamental tummy was made worse by nerves strung so taut they would hit a high note if plucked.
She had glanced at Gabe several times. His gaze had met hers on a number of those. When it had, ripples of pleasurable awareness had zinged through her. She wasn’t sure if it was the flapping of wings in her belly or the baby kicking, but her body had a definite reaction to the sight of him. She was still attracted to him. There had been an uneasiness in his eyes, but a glint of pleasure as well. Had he been glad to see her before she’d stood up, revealing her condition?
Their night together had been memorable. Extremely delightful and erotic. She’d let go like she’d never allowed herself to do before. Her life had been becoming more complicated and she’d just wanted to live a little. Gabe was there, tall, dark and handsome with a Southern drawl, her fantasy come to life...almost.
Her dream man would want to marry and have a family.
Yet despite that one character flaw, she’d wanted Gabe to give her the attention she’d craved. Had been greedy about it. Being with him had made her feel alive, desirable and carefree. She’d taken shameless advantage of their night of passion. The fear it might not come her way again had had her agreeing to things she was normally cautious about.
Not only was Gabe easy on the eyes but intelligent, thoughtful, funny and a great conversationalist. He really listened. She liked him, too much. Now fate had them in its grasp. Like it or not, against all odds, they were having a child together.
Finding the right man had been difficult for her. She refused to settle or compromise. She wanted a man devoted to her, who would feel the same way about their family. More than once her mother had said Zoe was dreaming of someone who didn’t exist. Zoe resisted that idea, knowing her mother was jaded from being an abandoned wife and mother. Still, Zoe believed there could be a happily ever after out there for her. She just had to find the right man.
The one time Zoe had thought she had, she’d ended up devastated. While confident their relationship had been progressing toward marriage, she’d caught Shawn having dinner with another woman. When she’d confronted him, he’d announced they didn’t want the same things out of life. That no man could live up to her expectations. That Zoe had an unrealistic view of life and relationships. To believe a man could be devoted to just one woman was antiquated.
Other men had implied the same thing. She still vowed not to lower her standards, even when she realized her pledge might mean she’d never have the family she’d dreamed of. Gabe’s assertion about not being interested in a wife or family only meant he wasn’t any different than the other men she’d been interested in. They’d all been like her father and left when life had turned inconvenient.
She’d fully accepted Gabe was not Mr. Right when she’d let go of her inhibitions that night, confident in her birth control.
Zoe lightly banged her forehead against the bathroom door, her hand aching from the prolonged tight grip on the handle. She just wanted that one man who would love her forever. If that was being too picky, so be it. As her mother’s condition gradually deteriorated, it was becoming more difficult to date, even if she had a chance. At least now, with a baby on the way, she had one of the two things she’d always wanted.
With a sudden surge of resolution, Zoe gripped the handle even tighter, her knuckles going white. She had to face Gabe. It was time. She ran her free hand over the rise at her middle, unable to keep the smile from forming despite her anxiety. When she had finally accepted she was pregnant, she’d been filled with joy. The only disappointment was that she didn’t have a husband to share her happiness with.
She rolled her shoulders back, forcing them to relax, took a fortifying breath and stepped out into the hallway. As she suspected, Gabe was there. Waiting.
* * *
Gabe gasped when Zoe stood. He felt like he’d just been sucker punched in the gut. His throat constricted as his heart recovered and went into high gear, pounding like a drum against his ribs.
Zoe was pregnant!
It was obvious beneath her pink dress.
For the past two hours she’d been sitting across from him, so involved in their committee’s discussion she hadn’t left the table. At least he’d assumed that was why she hadn’t stood until the midmorning break.
Gabe clamped his mouth shut and swallowed, trying to slow his thundering heart. Tearing his gaze from Zoe’s rounded middle, he glanced wildly about the conference room. Was it his?
Numerous times over the last months he’d thought of her. Of their night together. More than once he’d picked up his phone with the intention of calling her, only to put it down, afraid his intrusion into her life wouldn’t be welcomed, especially after the way she had left the morning after.
He’d hoped to get to the hotel earlier so he could talk to her but his flight hadn’t cooperated. His surgery schedule hadn’t either. Instead of coming in the night before, he’d had to take a morning plane.
Afterhe’d gasped, Zoe had glanced back at him before she’d hurried toward the conference-room exit. Was she running from him again?
Standing, he’d pushed his chair away with so much force he’d had to catch it before he could make his way around the table. He’d been stopped by one of the other committee members but had ended that conversation in short order.
He’d stalked down the hall toward the restrooms, his best guess for where she’d gone.
It could be someone else’s.
His heart did another tap dance. Zoe could have found someone just after they’d been together. He shook his head. His gut told him that wasn’t the case. Maybe it was the way he’d caught her uncertain look before she’d headed from the room.
The unending fascination he still felt for her hadn’t been part of his plan for a one-night stand, but it was there anyway. Now it appeared that night had had bigger repercussions than the memories that haunted him.
Gabe stationed himself across from the women’s restroom. Zoe had to come out sometime.
When the door finally opened, Zoe stepped into the hall and Gabe met her in the middle of it. Despite the large area around them, the space seemed to zoom inward until it was just he and Zoe.
“Is it mine?” His words were low and harsh.
She nodded, before she looked away then back to him. “You don’t have to worry. I can take care of it. I won’t make any demands on you.”
Gabe’s head jerked back in disbelief. “What? Of course I’ll help. This is my child too.”
“It was an accident. I can take care of us.” Her hand brushed her middle. “You don’t need to feel obligated in any way. I just wanted you to know about the baby.” Her voice grew stronger and she tried to step around him.
He blocked her path. “Yes, I can tell how eager you were to tell me. Must have been damned near impossible for you to keep it a secret all these months.” He almost winced at the sarcasm in his voice. “You should have told me. Not blindsided me.”
Zoe put a protective hand on her middle. Her eyes turned sad. “I wanted to. Tried. Sorry.”
At the sound of footsteps, they both glanced up the hall in the direction of the committee room. It was one of the other members coming their direction.
“Please, let’s not make a scene,” Zoe begged.
Gabe took her elbow. He was gentle yet firm. “Come. We need to talk.” He led her to a small alcove some distance down the hall from the restrooms.
Bile rose in his throat as Zoe stepped as far away from him as the space would allow. Just months ago, she’d been so alive in his arms. He took a deep breath in an effort to regain control, perspective.
“This isn’t the time or the place for this.” The desperation in her eyes and tone was unmistakable.
He glared at her. “Would you have ever told me if you hadn’t had to? Did you really think I wouldn’t notice? Did you manage to forget I’ve seen all of you, knew your body down to the smallest detail?”
Heat filled her cheeks. It was plain she remembered as well as he did, perhaps more clearly.
Gabe watched her closely. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her hand went over her middle again. “This wasn’t supposed to happen. I take full responsibility. I just thought you deserved to be told to your face.”
“It seems to me that you could have at least picked up the phone and called.”
“I know I should have, but I just kept making excuses. Then I knew I was going to see you here, but you didn’t come to the dinner last night...”
The tension in his shoulders eased. She must be under a lot of pressure. Could he believe her? “I got stuck in surgery. Look, you’re right. Now isn’t the time for us to talk. We’re expected back in the meeting. When does your plane leave?”
“Just after the meeting.” Zoe glanced at the opening as if anxious to leave.
His voice softened. “You can’t change it?”
“No. I have to get home to see about my mother. Just being gone overnight has become a problem. I’ve got to go.” She shifted toward the opening.
“Okay. We’ll have to figure something out later. But we will talk.” He nodded his head toward the opening. “Why don’t you go back ahead of me? I’ll be along in a minute. I’d rather there be as little talk as possible.”
With a curt nod of apparent agreement, she slipped past him and hurried away.
He was going to be a father. Gabe’s chest had a funny ache in it. Was it joy? Being a father had never been in his plans. He’d always been so careful. Zoe had changed that.
He’d grown up without a father. That had been the deciding factor in his decision to forgo the family route. Yet now that his plans for his life had just been rewritten permanently, he was determined no child of his would grow up not knowing his father. Zoe could protest that he wasn’t obligated all she liked. If she’d thought that feeble opposition would make him walk off as if nothing had ever happened, she’d badly underestimated him.
More annoying still was his body’s reaction to her nearness. She’d been standing so close. Her soft floral scent still lingered in his nostrils. That fragrance would forever be hers. Memories washed over him. Zoe soft and willing in his arms. The sweet, lilting moan she’d made as they’d joined. It was a night he’d replayed over and over in his mind. Yet this wasn’t the outcome he’d planned. But one he would accept. Deal with.
In the last few minutes his world had altered irreversibly. In a few months he would be a father. Next month he would be in a new job. A very visible one. He needed to look professional, be in control of his life. Gabe took a deep breath, gathered his emotions. Life had just grabbed him by the tail.
* * *
Zoe made her way back to the conference room on weak knees. Gabe had been right. They didn’t need to return at the same time, especially after one of the committee members had caught them arguing. Had the woman overheard what they’d been talking about? Yet Gabe’s sensible suggestion that they enter separately troubled her. Was he ashamed of her?
Maybe it was best. They shouldn’t draw attention to themselves, so that they’d have to explain what was going on between them. All she’d planned to do was tell Gabe and now he knew. She didn’t expect anything more from him and had made that plain. They would part ways today and that would be it. He’d have his life, his career, on the West Coast and she and the baby theirs on the East.
Except Gabe had said he wanted to talk. Would he be making demands? She had been surprised by the ferocity in his tone when he’d stated he would be in his child’s life. Where had that come from? Especially after he’d told her he wasn’t interested in a family. It must have been the shock of learning he was going to be a father. That was all it was.
She had just settled her shaking body in the chair when the moderator called the meeting back to order. Gabe slipped into his chair a minute later with an apologetic nod in the chairperson’s direction. Zoe refused to meet his look, the one she felt on her. The rest of the day would be long. Picking up her pen, she doodled on a page of her agenda to keep herself from glancing at him. The few times she dared to look, his thoughtful light blue gaze was fixed on her. She still found him attractive.
At their lunch break, Gabe started her way but was stopped by someone asking him a question. That gave her the chance to grab her meal and hurry back to her place, avoiding interacting with him again.
By midafternoon the meeting was ending. Zoe hadn’t heard much of it. She had been busy berating herself for failing to think through the consequences of not telling Gabe sooner.
“Dr. Marks,” the chairperson said, and the room erupted in clapping.
Zoe’s head jerked up. What had just been said? She gave a half-hearted pat of her hands as she watched Gabe. He smiled, nodding, as he looked around the room.
His gaze met hers briefly before he said, “Thank you. I look forward to becoming the head of transplants at National Hospital.”
The earlier fluttering in her stomach took off like a covey of quail. Gabe would be moving to the East Coast. To the same area as her!
She stared at him in disbelief.
He shrugged.
The rest of the people in the room stood and gathered their belongings. Zoe didn’t move. She’d believed Gabe would be three thousand miles away when he’d talked about being involved with their child. Now he would just be down the road. He might want to see the baby not only during the summer, while taking a few weeks of annual vacation, but regularly. He could even want part-time custody. This situation was spinning out of her control.
By the time she pulled her thoughts together, the room was practically empty. Gabe was still being congratulated by a couple of people when she was ready to go. In a stupor of shock, she snatched up her purse and grabbed the suitcase handle, hurrying out, unable to think clearly. Gabe had upended her envisioned future as a happy single parent.
“Zoe.”
She looked over her shoulder to see him striding toward her, and walked faster.
“Wait up,” he called.
“I need to catch my plane.” She had too much to process. Needed time to think.
Gabe pulled level with her. “But we need to talk.”
“If you wanted to talk so badly, why didn’t you tell me you had accepted a job that had you moving for all intents and purposes into my backyard?”
His mouth gaped in shock as he grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop.
“Maybe because I was too busy trying to recover from the bomb you dropped on me.”
He did have her there. She inhaled and said on the exhalation, “I think we both need some time to consider what we need to do.” His touch made her tremble, triggering memories of his hands all over her that night. How was she supposed to think?
“I already know what I want,” he snapped. “I intend to be as much a part of my child’s life as possible.”
“Does it matter what I want?” Zoe jerked free, took hold of her luggage handle again and started out of the hotel attached to the airport by a tunnel that led under the street.
Gabe matched her stride. “You didn’t think I’d want to know my child, did you?”
“I thought you deserved to know he or she existed, but I never imagined you’d want to be involved as closely as you’re talking about.” She kept increasing her pace, lugging her bag behind her. “You made it perfectly clear you weren’t family material before we went to bed together.”
“Oho, so that’s it. You didn’t think I’d care about being a father. It so happens that now that I am one I intend to be one. You have a problem with that?”
“I don’t know. I might if you keep applying this much pressure all the time,” she hissed.
“If I keep... You’ve had months to adjust to having a child. I only just learned I’m going to be a father.” His frustration was loud and clear.
Guilt assaulted her. “I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t fair, but you can’t expect me to make a life-changing decision for my child while I’m on the way to the airport.”
They continued through the tunnel into the terminal. Gabe remained beside her, larger than life. Why couldn’t he give her some space? She was already tied in emotional knots. She needed to get away, get home and regroup.
Zoe had other things to consider besides Gabe’s newly found parental outrage. Her friend had just sent a text to say that her mom was anxious, constantly searching the apartment and asking for Zoe.
Her thoughts were too scattered. She needed to consider carefully everything she said or agreed to. What happened would affect her and her child forever. “Gabe, I’m not talking about this right now. You’re moving across the country and you need time to get settled into your new job before you agree to shoulder the responsibilities of fatherhood. Responsibilities you need to carefully weigh first. Meanwhile, I need time to handle other issues in my life.”
“Is there someone else involved here?” His question was a demand. “Are you involved with someone?”
“No, nothing like that.” She glanced at Gabe in time to see him visibly relax. What did it matter to him if she had a boyfriend—or a lover, for that matter?
He touched her elbow to steady her when she rocked back as they headed up the escalators to the security area. Heat zipped through her. “You need to hold the handrail.”
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself. Pregnancy doesn’t make me feeble-minded.” She’d covered her reaction to him with feistiness she didn’t completely feel as she pulled her arm from his hand.
“Neither does it mean you shouldn’t be careful or unwilling to accept help.”
Zoe’s look met his. Gabe’s didn’t waver. He appeared sincerely concerned. She had to admit it was nice to have someone care about her welfare. So much of her life revolved around helping others, her patients and her mother. Being worried over was a pleasant change. They stepped off the escalator and continued down the concourse. “I promise I’ll be careful.”
She looked ahead. A young woman with a baby strapped to her chest was pushing a rented luggage cart piled high with bags. Standing on the front, holding on, was a boy of about four. Seconds before they passed Zoe, the cart wobbled and the boy fell backward onto the unforgiving floor with a sickening thud. The mother screamed as blood flowed.
Even as the accident registered in Zoe’s mind, Gabe was down on one knee beside the child. The boy’s screeching echoed off the high glass ceiling as the mother pushed Gabe’s shoulder in her effort to reach the boy.
He half turned, catching hold of her as he said in a level, calm manner, “Ma’am, I’m a doctor. Don’t move him. You could make it worse. What’s his name?”
“Bobby. Bobby’s his name,” the woman said between crying huffs.
“Bobby, hush. I’m Dr. Gabe. I’m going to help you.” Gabe continued to speak softly and reassuringly to the boy.
Zoe noticed a diaper bag sitting on top of the woman’s luggage pile. Grabbing it, she opened it and searched until she found a diaper. Laying it as flat as possible on the floor, she carefully slipped it beneath the boy’s head, then held his head steady to stop him from squirming.
Gabe nodded to her then said, “Bobby, I need to see if you’re hurt anywhere else. Your mom’s right here. She can hold your hand, but you must be still.”
The boy’s crying quieted, although tears continued to roll down his face.
A crowd circled them yet Gabe’s full attention remained focused on the child.
The mother moved to the opposite side of the boy, going down on her knees beside Zoe. Taking his small hand, she said, “I’m here, honey.” The baby on her chest started to cry and she patted her on the bottom. “Don’t cry, Bobby. You’re making me and Susie cry too.”
The boy gave her a sad smile. His chest shuddered as he struggled to stop sobbing. The mother’s eyes were wild with fear as she stared expectantly at Gabe.
“Bobby, do you have a dog?” he asked, reaching for and pulling his suitcase to him.
“Uh-huh.” The boy grew quiet and watched Gabe.
Nimbly, Gabe unzipped a side pocket and removed a stethoscope. “What’s his name?”
“Marty.”
“Marty—that’s a good name for a dog. Did you give it to him?”
Zoe shifted closer to the mother. Placing her fingers on the pulse of the boy’s wrist, Zoe checked his heart rate.
“One-ten,” she told Gabe. Thankfully it wasn’t very high.
Zoe looked up to see a security guard hurrying in their direction. When he arrived she said, “I’m a nurse and he’s a doctor.” She nodded in the direction of Gabe. “Call 911. This boy needs to be seen at a hospital.”
Thankfully the man didn’t waste time arguing and spoke into his radio.
Meanwhile Bobby was saying, “No, my mom did. I wanted to name him Purple.”
Gabe grinned. “Purple. That’s an interesting name. Is he a purple dog?” While he spoke to the boy in a low tone, Gabe listened to his heart, checking his pulse and looking into his eyes.
“There’s no such thing as a purple dog,” the boy stated. “It’s my favorite color.”
Gabe chuckled and patted Bobby on the shoulder. “I’m sure you’ll be playing with Marty soon.” He spoke to the mother. “I think he’ll be fine, but he may have a concussion and need to stay in the hospital overnight for observation.”
Blinking, she swiped away the wetness on one cheek.
“I’ll see that you’re taken care of. Don’t worry,” Gabe assured her.
Seconds later the emergency medical techs arrived. They relieved Zoe and she stood. Her hands were a mess and one of the techs handed her a wet towel to clean them.
Gabe had been tender with Bobby, even able to distract him, which was a talent in itself. He showed promise at being a good father. Caring concern was every bit as evident in his interaction with the boy and mother as it had been during the night they had shared. Maybe it wouldn’t be so hard to accept him as part of her and the baby’s life. If he was truly serious about it. Her fear was that when reality set in he might change his mind. Right now, he was just being noble.
Gabe was busy giving the EMTs a report about what had happened when Zoe found her bag and headed to the nearest restroom to wash her hands. When she came out, Gabe stood nearby.
She checked her watch and shook her head. “I have to go. It’s almost time for my plane. I have to get home.”
He didn’t look pleased with her putting him off once again. “I’ll be in touch.”
“Okay.” She pulled a card from her purse and handed it to him. “My phone number is on it. ’Bye, Gabe.”
CHAPTER TWO (#ulink_cf2f61e1-bb4f-5e1e-9203-170c00681dec)
TWO DAYS LATER Gabe was on his way out of surgery when his phone rang. “Hey, Mom.”
“Hey yourself. I’ve not heard from you in weeks.” His mother sounded eager to talk.
“I’ve been busy.”
“Too busy to check in with your mother?” Her tone held a teasing note but there was also some scolding as well.
“I’ve been trying to wrap up things here. Planning a move at the same time has kept me tied up.” Along with finding out he would soon be a father...
“I’m so proud of you and pleased you’ll be moving closer. I don’t see enough of you.”
With his schedule, he couldn’t promise it would be much different, but he did need to tell her about the baby. At least that would make her happy. “Mom, I’m glad you called. I’ve got some news.”
“I hope it’s good?”
“It is. I’m going to be a father.” Even though he’d had a couple of days to adjust to the idea, the words still sounded strange.
“You are! I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone!”
Gabe chuckled. His mother was as excited to hear the news as he had expected she would be. “I’m not really.” He didn’t want to get into it.
“Okay... Well, when is she due?”
“Sometime after the first of the year.”
His mother shot back, “You don’t know the exact date? Is it a boy or a girl?”
He really didn’t know much. He and Zoe were going to have to really talk. Today. “I’ll have to ask Zoe.”
“I’m guessing she’s the mother?” Curiosity filled her voice.
“Yes, her name is Zoe Avery.”
“Where did you meet her?”
“At a professional meeting.” He wasn’t surprised his mother was full of questions.
“Gabe, I’m guessing this wasn’t planned?” It sounded more like a question than a statement.
“It wasn’t, but we’re working all that out.” His pager went off. He was needed in ICU. “Mom, I’ve got to go. I’ll call you soon. I promise.”
“Okay. I love you, son.”
His mother might not have been around much, but he had known he was loved. His child would at least know Gabe cared, even if he couldn’t be there for him all the time. He’d learned early from his mother that sacrifices were necessary to survive and succeed in a profession. That focus was important to get what you wanted. For him, that was to build a renowned liver-transplant program.
He checked on his patient in ICU the nurse had paged him about and increased the dosage of pain medicine, before giving instructions to his physician’s assistant to notify him if there were additional issues. Then he headed to his office for some privacy. It was time he and Zoe had that overdue conversation. He just hoped she wouldn’t try to evade it. They needed to discuss things whether she liked it or not.
She answered on the second ring.
“Zoe. It’s Gabe. Please don’t hang up.”
“I wasn’t going to.” The soft voice that he’d know anywhere as Zoe’s sounded distracted.
“Uh... How’re you doing?” He felt like a teen calling a girl for the first time. It mattered too much.
“I’m fine.”
His chest tightened. She didn’t sound like it. “Are you feeling okay?”
“I’m fine and so is the baby.”
He was relieved to hear that. It amazed him how quickly she and his unborn child had become so important to him. “Uh, what’s the baby’s due date?” He’d been so shocked to learn she was pregnant he’d not thought to ask earlier.
“January twenty-second.”
“My father was born in January.” He shook his head. That was an odd statement. He’d not thought of that in a long time. “Do you know what it is yet?”
“No. I’ll find out soon.”
“You’ll let me know as soon as you do?” Why should he want to hear so badly? How much time would he spend being a father anyway? More than Zoe apparently thought he should. Fatherhood wasn’t what he’d planned for his life but now he had to adjust and adapt. He was determined to be the best father he could be.
“I will if you want me to.”
He would like to tell his mother the sex. She would be so excited. Would start buying clothes. “Zoe, how did this happen?”
She tittered. “Why, Doctor, I thought you, of all people, understood the birds and the bees.”
The Zoe with a sense of humor had returned. This was ground he was comfortable on. He huffed. “I don’t mean the physical process. I thought you had things handled.”
“I thought so too. I guess the pill failed.” She sighed. “Or maybe the condom was bad. I don’t know. I just know I’m pregnant. I’m sorry, Gabe. I realize this isn’t what you wanted.”
It wasn’t, but he could tell by her tone that she hadn’t planned it either. “Maybe not, but I’ll deal with it. Meet my responsibilities.”
“This baby needn’t ruin your life. I have things handled. I can raise it. I want to. There’s no reason for you to change your lifestyle because of us. I know this wasn’t in your life plan.”
“You’re not going to handle this alone. I’m here to help. I should help.”
In the background, a woman called Zoe’s name. Was that her mother?
“I’ll be right there, Mom,” Zoe said in an exasperated tone.
“Is everything okay?”
“Yes. And no.” Zoe sounded bone weary. “Mom’s Alzheimer’s has really progressed. She’s more confused these days. More demanding.”
The faint sounds of Zoe’s name being shouted again reached Gabe’s ear.
“Sorry but I’ve got to go,” Zoe said. “’Bye.”
The click of them being disconnected was the last he heard.
The next day between surgeries he couldn’t stop himself from texting her.
Is there a good time for me to call?
A few minutes later he received her reply.
Tonight. No later than ten-thirty my time. I have an early meeting in the morning.
Gabe typed back.
Will call at ten.
He needed to discuss his trip to her part of the world the next weekend. He would be looking for a house and wanted her to set aside some time to see him and discuss the baby’s future.
His phone buzzed. He was needed in the emergency department. There had been a car accident. It turned out that his patient was a teenage girl who required surgery right away.
Hours later, Gabe left the operating room and checked his phone. He groaned. It was already after ten-thirty. Remorse filled him. He’d promised Zoe he would call her earlier. This was just another example of why he shouldn’t have a family. He was so focused on his job. A wife and children deserved better than leftovers and afterthoughts. He would soon be a father. Where was he going to find the time? He had to show Zoe how serious he was about being a parent.
His child. Somehow that sounded weird and right at the same time.
Regardless of the time, he needed to talk to Zoe, even if just to make plans for the weekend.
She answered on the first ring. “Hello.” The word was said quietly as if he had woken her.
He remembered her voice sounding like that the night they had spent together. “It’s Gabe.”
“I know.”
Was that because of caller ID or because she recognized his voice? He hoped the latter. Now that he was actually speaking to her, he was a little unsure. “I’m sorry I’m late calling. I didn’t think you’d be asleep yet. There was an emergency and time got away from me. How’re you doing?” he finally asked.
“Fair, all things considered.”
“Has something happened to the baby?” Gabe’s middle clinched at the thought. He was surprised at how quickly his mind had gone that direction.
“No. The baby is fine. The doctor said today it measures just right. Heartbeat is strong.”
An odd feeling washed over him. He was relieved to hear it. “Was everything all right with your mom after last night?”
“Yeah, she was just confused. She gets more anxious and demanding these days. She’s asleep now.”
“That must be stressful.” He couldn’t imagine what he’d do with his job demands if his mother required his attention like Zoe’s did.
“I don’t wish this disease on anyone.”
Gabe had heard Alzheimer’s was difficult to deal with, but this was the first time he’d known someone facing it daily. “Do you have any help?”
“Not really. My sister lives about four hours away and travels for work, so she can’t come often.” There was a pause, and then she asked, “Do you happen to know how the boy from Chicago is doing? His mother was beside herself.”
“She was, but she was much better after she knew Bobby was going to be all right and they had a place to stay for the night. I spoke to her the other day and Bobby is doing just great.”
“You called her?”
Gabe grinned. “Don’t sound so surprised. I did. I like to keep track of my patients. She said if it weren’t for the stitches in his head she wouldn’t even know anything had happened.”
“Good. I’m glad to hear it. You were good with him. Both as a doctor and a person.”
“Thanks. I like to see that my patients get complete care. You weren’t half-bad yourself. Using the diaper to stop the blood flow was quick thinking.”
“It’s my turn to say thanks.”
The self-assured Zoe had returned. Smiling to himself, he got down to business. “I wanted to let you know I’ll be in town this weekend, looking for a place to live. I’d like to see you. Discuss things without being interrupted.”
“Look, Gabe, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, really I do. But you don’t need to feel obligated. I’m fine. I can take care of the baby.”
His blood ran hot. Why did she keep pushing him away when he was offering to help? Did she expect he’d be satisfied with a phone call here and there and a few school pictures? It was time to make himself clear. “Zoe, I have every intention of being an active parent in my child’s life. You’re not going to push me out of it. I’ll gladly handle my share of the expenses. I not only want to be involved, I will be involved. Let’s try to keep this between us and not drag others into the situation.”
Silence lay heavy between them.
She must have gotten his less-than-subtle hint about hiring a lawyer. He didn’t want to go there but he would if he had to. Growing up without a father hadn’t been fun. At baseball games there hadn’t been a man in the stands cheering him on or coaching on the sidelines. When he’d liked his first girl and she had wanted nothing to do with him, there had been no man to listen and offer advice based on experience. His mother had tried but it just hadn’t been the same. Those memories only made him all the more determined to be a present father to his child. It was his child, his responsibility.
After his and Zoe’s night together, he’d like to believe they had parted friends, albeit uncomfortable ones, but civil nonetheless. He wanted to build on that. He had no interest in angering Zoe, so he volunteered in a conciliatory tone, “I’ll be looking at houses most of the day on Saturday, so how about having dinner with me that evening?”
“I can’t. I don’t have anyone to watch Mother.”
“Then I’ll pick up something and bring it to your place. I’d really like for us to talk about this.” He wasn’t letting Zoe run from him forever. He saw another call was coming in. He’d have to get it. “The floor is paging me. I’ll be in touch on Saturday.”
* * *
By Wednesday, Zoe had red-rimmed eyes, a runny nose and was sneezing.
“Of all the times to get a head cold,” she murmured as she headed down the hall of one of the local hospitals to see a patient. She already had her hands full with life and her job, and to feel awful was almost more than she could take. Since Gabe’s call, she was still trying to sort out her thoughts and feelings.
The reality of him moving to the area, of seeing him on a regular basis was slowly seeping in. Against her better judgment she looked forward to seeing him again. That was a road she needed to close but how could she when their lives were becoming more intertwined, both personally and professionally? Her life was changing so fast she was racing to catch up. What more could happen?
She sanitized her hands using the liquid in the container by the patient’s door and pulled out a mask from the box on the shelf nearby. Mr. Luther was her most difficult patient but one her heart went out to. Why, she didn’t know. He didn’t make it easy. It could be Mr. Luther was the father figure she was missing in her life or that he just didn’t have anyone else. He reminded her of a bad-tempered grandfather who hid his huge soft spot well. For some reason she was the one person he would listen to. Maybe he sensed she liked him despite his rough outer shell. Regardless, she was determined to do whatever she could to help him.
Knocking on the hospital door, she waited until she heard the gruff “Yeah.”
She took a deep breath to fortify herself for what was coming. Pushing the door open, Zoe entered the dark room where the TV was blaring. The sixty-four-year-old man who sat in a chair beside the bed didn’t even look her way as she entered.
He’d been in and out of the hospital for months with advancing inflammation of the liver caused by hepatitis C. Because of it he had a yellow tint to his skin and eyes and ongoing nausea and fatigue. It didn’t look like he would have any improvement without a transplant. She hoped that Gabe might help her there. When the time was right she’d ask him. With any luck, Mr. Luther would be transferred to Gabe’s care at National Hospital and listed for a transplant.
“Hello, Mr. Luther. How’re you doing this morning?”
“You know as well as I do how I’m doing.”
She might but she wouldn’t let him get away with ignoring her. “Do you mind if we turn the TV down?”
“I do but I guess you’ll do it anyway.”
Zoe grinned as she found the remote and lowered the volume. She’d learned long ago that his bark was worse than his bite. “I need to give you a listen and have you sign a couple of forms so I have permission to look at your chart.”
“The others here have already listened to me today.”
“You know how this works by now. I have to do my own listening and looking at lab results if I’m going to help you get better. I’m your advocate. I don’t work for the hospital. I work for you. I’m here to help you.”
“Aw, go ahead. You will anyway.”
Zoe stepped to him. Pulling her stethoscope out of her pocket and placing the ends in her ears, she proceeded to listen to his heart. It sounded steady and strong, which pleased her. She then listened to his lungs and checked his pulse rate. Removing her small penlight from her lab coat pocket, she said, “I need to look in your eyes.”
“I was afraid of that.” Mr. Luther lifted his face to her.
She pointed the light in his eyes. What she found there she wasn’t as happy with. The whites still weren’t clear.
“Well? Will I be getting out of here soon?”
“That’s not for me to say. Your doctor here makes those decisions. But I will be in touch. If I don’t see you here next week, I’ll be calling you at home to check on you.” She didn’t have to keep such close tabs on him, but as far as she knew, there was no one else to do it. Zoe placed her hand on his shoulder. “Please do what they say, Mr. Luther.”
He grunted. “Always do.”
She looked back at him as she went out the door. He was going to need a liver transplant much sooner than the doctors had originally estimated.
As she traveled to different hospitals to check on other patients and completed paperwork in her office over the next few days, she continued to search for reasons not to see Gabe while he was in town. The longer she could put him off, the better. Dealing with him was the last thing she needed at this point in her emotionally and physically overloaded life.
Preparing for her baby’s birth, dealing with her mother’s rapidly deteriorating condition and now the urgent need to get Mr. Luther on the fast track for a liver transplant... If only Gabe would stop pressuring her to make decisions about her baby’s future, decisions that could wait until closer to the due date. If Gabe sincerely wanted to help her, maybe she could convince him to give her those precious three months before her baby was born to deal with her other problems by priority. Would he understand her genuine need for time and distance? Or would he be self-centered, accusing her of trying to push him out of the baby’s life?
* * *
On Saturday afternoon, her mother had gone to her room for a nap and Zoe was trying to get some much-needed rest on the sofa. The cold was taking its toll on her. She’d just closed her eyes when the phone rang. Anticipation zinged through her. Would it be Gabe?
“Hey,” he said when she answered, not giving his name. It wasn’t necessary. Zoe would have known his voice anywhere. “Have you changed your mind about going out to dinner?”
“No.” Even to her own ears she didn’t sound welcoming, yet blood whipped through her veins at the mere fact she was speaking to Gabe.
“You sound awful. What’s wrong?”
“I woke with a cold the other morning.”
“Are you taking care of it? Getting enough rest?” His concern somehow made her feel better. She liked knowing Gabe cared about her, even if it was just because of the baby.
“Yes. I’m just tired.”
“Then I’ll pick up dinner. Bring it to you. What’s your address?”
She gave it to him.
“I’ll see you in about an hour and a half. ’Bye.”
Knowing she was about to see Gabe again caused her stomach to flutter. Despite feeling bad, she still rushed around, putting her apartment in order in anticipation of his visit. Her life was already a tightrope and Gabe was tying complicated knots in it as well. With one more tiny twist she might snap.
Zoe finally settled on the sofa to wait for him. She hadn’t missed his poorly veiled threat about getting a lawyer involved if she didn’t talk to him. The nervous waves in her stomach crashed harder, despite him brushing off his threat with a dinner offer. He’d made it plain he didn’t want a wife and children the night they had been together. His declaration of lifelong bachelorhood over five months ago contradicted his current insistence on being involved with their child. How long would his sense of obligation last? Until “his” child started making demands on his time? Would he still be sharing parental duties when they started to interfere with his career? Maybe he didn’t mind being a father as much as he hated the thought of being a husband. If that was the case, she was left with the conclusion he would never marry her.
That hurt. It shouldn’t, but it did.
She had no doubt Gabe wouldn’t consider marriage as a practical solution to their situation. In the unlikely event he did, she would say no. Being wanted because she was the mother of his child wasn’t good enough. When she married it would be for love. Her hand went to her middle. Right now, her focus would be on the baby. She wasn’t going to let Gabe continue making immediate demands that would needlessly confuse her life further.
The door buzzer woke Zoe. Panic filled her. She’d had every intention of having time to apply some makeup and fix her hair before Gabe arrived. She stopped in front of a mirror on the way to the door and pushed at her hair, creating some order, before she checked the peephole, getting a distorted view of Gabe. Even then he looked amazing. Why couldn’t he be everything she didn’t want in a man?
Zoe unlocked and opened the door. Gabe had two large white bags in his hands and one small brown one. She’d never seen him casually dressed. The white-collared shirt he wore rolled up his forearms set off his dark hair and California tan. Jeans hugged his slim hips and loafers covered his feet. He could be a model for a men’s cologne ad. He took her breath away.
For seconds, they just looked at each other. He broke the silence. “May I come in?”
“Yes.” Zoe pushed the door wider.
Gabe entered, looked around, then headed toward the kitchen table, where he set the bags down. “You sit down and rest. I’ll get things on the table. Just tell me where they are.”
Zoe closed the door and followed more slowly. Her apartment went from small to tiny with Gabe in it. She needed to get a grip on her attraction to him or she would lose control of the situation.
Her mother joined them, looking from Gabe and back to her, perplexed.
Zoe put a reassuring hand on her mother’s arm. “Mom, I want you to meet a friend of mine, Gabe Marks.”
“Friend” might be stretching their actual relationship, but she didn’t want to explain more.
Gabe came around the table with a smile on his face. “Mrs. Avery, it’s a pleasure to meet you.”
Her mother smiled. “Hello.”
“I brought you some dinner. I hope you’re hungry.” He pulled a chair out from under the table and held it for her.
“Thank you. I am.” Her smile broadened as she sat.
Zoe sank into a chair.
Gabe returned to the bags, continuing to remove cartons. “Zoe, I hate it, but I forgot drinks.”
How like him to take control and look comfortable doing it. “I have iced tea made.”
“Sounds great.” He looked at her mother and smiled. “That work for you too, Mrs. Avery?”
Her mother grinned, an endearing expression Zoe hadn’t seen in some time, and nodded to Gabe. The devil was charming her mother out of her fog.
Zoe stood.
“I said I’d get things.” He waved her down and headed into the kitchen. “Just tell me where they are. Plates? Silverware?”
“I don’t feel that bad.” Zoe joined him. Gabe took her by the arm and gently led her back to her chair.
Her body trembled at his touch. She sat, forcing him to release her. If he had noticed her hypersensitive reaction to him, he didn’t show it, much to her relief. She had to somehow smother her physical desire for him. She couldn’t spend the rest of her life fighting it and hiding it from him.
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